Title: Almost Dead
Author: H.L. Houghton
Pages: 60
Release date: 7th October 2014
Author: H.L. Houghton
Pages: 60
Release date: 7th October 2014
Blurb from Goodreads:
A collection of short, vampire themed, stories. For those who like giggles with their bite...
From a raving super-fan to a newly born vampire, these stories bring a new perspective to the Vampire myth. This is a quick and light-hearted read with lots of giggles and a fun bonus section thrown in for your enjoyment.
Fang Girl: When the radio announced the ‘Date with a Detective’ competition, they had no idea how determined some fans would be to win.
Bite Me: Ritchie only wanted a bit of attention. What he got instead was a hard-learned lesson: Love Bites.
Baby Teeth: Dr French has the 'patient' of a saint...or is it an angel...Oh whatever...
Ode to my Lunch: In a life where nothing is certain...Only one thing is true...Darkos’ poetry will kill you.
Almost Dead: Three little words sum up Becca’s whole life...Love sucks - Literally.
Read my 5 star review here.
About the Author
H.L. Houghton remembers sitting on the floor with a little red typewriter, tapping keys and asking her mother for spellings. She was three years old and from that day to this, she has dreamed of writing wonderful things for others to read. When she is not writing, she can be found with a camera glued to her face or a book in her hand. She loves music, singing badly and watching people run from the rain.
Extra content for Fang Girl:
Metropolitan Police
Witness Interview Transcript
14th March
Witness: Mrs P. Loveson. 342 Jordan Grove. Pemberton Road. Haversham. H4 SA2.
Interviewing officers: J. D Grishnor 913224-43 hereby known as JD, E.D Hanson 321746-20 hereby known as ED
Interview commences at 12.54 pm
JD: Thank you for coming and speaking with us Mrs Loveson. As you know many of the other victims…er…witnesses…er missing Lovesons were unable to recall much about what happened over the past twenty-four hours. We are grateful that you thought to come in as soon as you recalled any details.
Loveson: It is all still a bit of a blur. I don’t want you to think I have remembered it all. It rather seems like a dream actually, more than memories.
ED: Of course Mrs Loveson. We understand. If you were in fact drugged then the images might return to you in a fractured dream-like way. Just tell us anything that you can remember. It will all help.
Loveson: Well. I can remember hearing the radio announce its task. I remember thinking “Oh goodness, how inconvenient,” and then my sister-in-law…another Mrs Loveson…called to complain about it. Whilst she was grumbling down the line at me, I heard a smash at the front of the house. I tried to tell Doreen to shut up so that I could put her on hold and investigate the noise, but Doreen screamed and then began to gurgle like she was choking on something. It was rather frightening. I disconnected the call and tried to ring for an ambulance but my line was dead. Then everything went black.
ED: Have you had a chance to speak to Doreen?
Loveson: Yes.
ED: did she explain the gurgling?
Loveson: Yes. She said, a very handsome man broke in through her kitchen door and she coughed whilst drinking her tea. He was one of the kidnappers I believe, because she then said that everything went blank.
JD: Yes. We have that in Mrs Loveson’s statement…I mean the other Mrs Loveson.
Loveson: Well after that it gets a bit hazy, but I can recall a double decker bus. A big red one.
JD: Did you see it from the kidnapper’ vehicle?
Loveson: No. It was the kidnappers’ vehicle. Or at least one of them.
ED: They put you on a bus?
Loveson: Yes, a tour bus. We saw the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace…
ED: Wait a second. Are you telling us they kidnapped a load of Mrs Lovesons and then took you all on a tour of London?
Loveson: Yes, Dear. It was rather good, from what little I can recall. We had a tour guide who spoke about the history of the city and pointed out lots of interesting things that they don’t tell you about in the books. For example, did you know that Jack the ripper was actually the name of the police chief inspector’s dog? When they couldn’t find the killer they made one up and used poor Jack’s name! Terribly interesting.
JD: Um…yes…can you recall anything else? Anything that we might, actually, be able to use?
Loveson: Well. They took us to lunch.
ED: Took you to….
JD: What did they give you? Do you suspect that was where you were drugged?
Loveson: Oh no! The food was delicious. Absolutely no chance anyone got poisoned…or drugged… although Freddie Loveson really should have stayed off the vino. When she got up on the table top and started the Charleston, we all knew she was in for a world of pain.
JD: Why? Did the kidnappers mistreat her? Threaten her?
ED: Did they knock her about a bit?
JD: Call her some names?
ED: Scare you all?
Loveson: Gosh no. They clapped along and I am quite sure they videoed it on their phones. No she will be in pain because she fell on her bottom and bruised it. We all thought it was hilarious.
ED: So these kidnappers took you from your houses, gave you a free tour of London, treated you to a nice meal…
Loveson: Don’t forget the entertainment, Dear.
JD: What entertainment?
Loveson: We had the best Elvis impersonator and a Frank Sinatra tribute singer. I could have sworn they were the real deal. Amazing!
ED: So a tour, a meal and entertainment…?
Loveson: Yes.
ED: Are you sure you weren’t dreaming this?
Loveson: Very sure. It was the end of the evening that took a dark turn. Our kidnappers thanked us for our company and complicity and then they took us to an old warehouse where everything went blank again. It was all rather strange.
ED: You’re telling me.
JD: Can you recall any of the kidnappers’ faces?
Loveson: That is the strangest part of all. I cannot. I remember them all being very beautiful and well-mannered but as far as details go, I can only recall very sharp teeth.
ED: …..(long silence) Okay, Mrs Loveson, thank you for coming in. If you would like to go and wait in the hallway, we will finish up in here and then walk you out of the station.
Loveson. Of course, Dear. I hope I have been a help.
Mrs Loveson Exits interview room 13.14pm
ED: I say she’s had one too many glasses of sherry.
JD: I say she’s pulling our leg.
ED: Well that was a complete waste of time. Oh crap tape is still running. Interview ended at 13.18pm.
END of Transcript.
I loved this book so much that I'm giving away a paperback copy to one lucky winner!
Witness Interview Transcript
14th March
Witness: Mrs P. Loveson. 342 Jordan Grove. Pemberton Road. Haversham. H4 SA2.
Interviewing officers: J. D Grishnor 913224-43 hereby known as JD, E.D Hanson 321746-20 hereby known as ED
Interview commences at 12.54 pm
JD: Thank you for coming and speaking with us Mrs Loveson. As you know many of the other victims…er…witnesses…er missing Lovesons were unable to recall much about what happened over the past twenty-four hours. We are grateful that you thought to come in as soon as you recalled any details.
Loveson: It is all still a bit of a blur. I don’t want you to think I have remembered it all. It rather seems like a dream actually, more than memories.
ED: Of course Mrs Loveson. We understand. If you were in fact drugged then the images might return to you in a fractured dream-like way. Just tell us anything that you can remember. It will all help.
Loveson: Well. I can remember hearing the radio announce its task. I remember thinking “Oh goodness, how inconvenient,” and then my sister-in-law…another Mrs Loveson…called to complain about it. Whilst she was grumbling down the line at me, I heard a smash at the front of the house. I tried to tell Doreen to shut up so that I could put her on hold and investigate the noise, but Doreen screamed and then began to gurgle like she was choking on something. It was rather frightening. I disconnected the call and tried to ring for an ambulance but my line was dead. Then everything went black.
ED: Have you had a chance to speak to Doreen?
Loveson: Yes.
ED: did she explain the gurgling?
Loveson: Yes. She said, a very handsome man broke in through her kitchen door and she coughed whilst drinking her tea. He was one of the kidnappers I believe, because she then said that everything went blank.
JD: Yes. We have that in Mrs Loveson’s statement…I mean the other Mrs Loveson.
Loveson: Well after that it gets a bit hazy, but I can recall a double decker bus. A big red one.
JD: Did you see it from the kidnapper’ vehicle?
Loveson: No. It was the kidnappers’ vehicle. Or at least one of them.
ED: They put you on a bus?
Loveson: Yes, a tour bus. We saw the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace…
ED: Wait a second. Are you telling us they kidnapped a load of Mrs Lovesons and then took you all on a tour of London?
Loveson: Yes, Dear. It was rather good, from what little I can recall. We had a tour guide who spoke about the history of the city and pointed out lots of interesting things that they don’t tell you about in the books. For example, did you know that Jack the ripper was actually the name of the police chief inspector’s dog? When they couldn’t find the killer they made one up and used poor Jack’s name! Terribly interesting.
JD: Um…yes…can you recall anything else? Anything that we might, actually, be able to use?
Loveson: Well. They took us to lunch.
ED: Took you to….
JD: What did they give you? Do you suspect that was where you were drugged?
Loveson: Oh no! The food was delicious. Absolutely no chance anyone got poisoned…or drugged… although Freddie Loveson really should have stayed off the vino. When she got up on the table top and started the Charleston, we all knew she was in for a world of pain.
JD: Why? Did the kidnappers mistreat her? Threaten her?
ED: Did they knock her about a bit?
JD: Call her some names?
ED: Scare you all?
Loveson: Gosh no. They clapped along and I am quite sure they videoed it on their phones. No she will be in pain because she fell on her bottom and bruised it. We all thought it was hilarious.
ED: So these kidnappers took you from your houses, gave you a free tour of London, treated you to a nice meal…
Loveson: Don’t forget the entertainment, Dear.
JD: What entertainment?
Loveson: We had the best Elvis impersonator and a Frank Sinatra tribute singer. I could have sworn they were the real deal. Amazing!
ED: So a tour, a meal and entertainment…?
Loveson: Yes.
ED: Are you sure you weren’t dreaming this?
Loveson: Very sure. It was the end of the evening that took a dark turn. Our kidnappers thanked us for our company and complicity and then they took us to an old warehouse where everything went blank again. It was all rather strange.
ED: You’re telling me.
JD: Can you recall any of the kidnappers’ faces?
Loveson: That is the strangest part of all. I cannot. I remember them all being very beautiful and well-mannered but as far as details go, I can only recall very sharp teeth.
ED: …..(long silence) Okay, Mrs Loveson, thank you for coming in. If you would like to go and wait in the hallway, we will finish up in here and then walk you out of the station.
Loveson. Of course, Dear. I hope I have been a help.
Mrs Loveson Exits interview room 13.14pm
ED: I say she’s had one too many glasses of sherry.
JD: I say she’s pulling our leg.
ED: Well that was a complete waste of time. Oh crap tape is still running. Interview ended at 13.18pm.
END of Transcript.
I loved this book so much that I'm giving away a paperback copy to one lucky winner!
The author has donated an ecopy as well!
Open internationally!
No comments :
Post a Comment